Question: What does Inspiration say about Broken Families?

Here's a question that I received from one of my Youtube subscribers:

Question - ..."I was raised in the church and I have questions about what Ellen White says about the churches responsibility to the family? The second question I have is how do we as people in the last days apply what this messenger says to broken families today ? Last question is, how does a person whose family is broken find the answers not only in the spirit of prophecy but in God’s word?" - Jeremy

Response -  Depending on the severity of the issue, I am inclined to recommend that you seek a licensed counselor or a trustworthy, Bible-believing Pastor. However, I will do my best to answer your questions:

Although you asked about Ellen White, I believe it's best to answer from the Word of God first, then we will then look for a few quotations from the Messenger to the Adventist Church to add context.

Broken Families in the Bible

• Adam and Eve.

Eve gave Adam the fruit and got them not only kicked out of their home but cursed the world. Then afterward, one son killed the other…and he got banished. Now, I don’t know about you, but if there’s one family that was broken…it was Adam and Eve’s. 1. What did God do? He promised them of a coming savior. Just as God gave them a promise, broken families should also look for promises in God’s Word, but don’t only read them…CLAIM THEM: Jeremiah 30:17, Psalm 51:12, 2 Chronicles 7:14, Malachi 4:6.

• Jacob's family

Jacob lied to his father and feuded with his brother. However, he wrestled with Christ. Thus, although our family life may be in turmoil, it is our duty to wrestle with God in prayer. If you’re the only one who is willing to pray in your home, then you need to regularly find a quiet place to agonize with the Lord over your family problems.

• Joseph's family

Joseph’s father played favorites with him which resulted in him getting sold into slavery. For years he spent in a bad place for something that wasn’t his fault; however, through adversity, he still remained faithful to God. While you are in the crucible, your prayer is to remain faithful to God. Continue studying his word, praying, fasting, and attending church if possible. Maintain that relationship with God at all times.

• David's family

Of all the broken families, David’s family ranks at the top. The Bible reveals David took his soldier's wife and had him killed. As a result, their first son died. However, this was not the end of David's tumultuous road. David had another son named Amnon, who raped Tamar, his own sister. If things couldn't get any worse, David's other son, Absalom, tried to kill him but ended up losing his own life. I don’t know what type of brokenness you may be facing, but this brokenness is on another level. But after a while, what did David do? He realized how culpable he was in all of this. He recognized that his actions may have often been the cause of much of his pain. Thus we can see in Psalms 51:2-3 he told God, "Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me." In essence, in our brokenness, we must ask God to show us if we are contributing to our state of being and seek God's forgiveness.

What does the Bible say about family brokenness?

Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division: For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three. The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. Luke 12:51-53

And Jesus knew their thoughts, and said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand. Matt 12:2

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

Casting all your anxieties on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.  Gal 6:2

What does Ellen White say about family brokenness?

The Church as a Watchman—The Lord would use the church school as an aid to the parents in educating and preparing their children for this time before us. Then let the church take hold of the schoolwork in earnest and make it what the Lord desires it to be. God has appointed the church as a watchman, to have a jealous care over the youth and children, and as a sentinel to see the approach of the enemy and give warning of danger. But the church does not realize the situation. She is sleeping on guard. In this time of peril fathers and mothers must arouse and work as for life, or many of the youth will be forever lost. CG 312

We are laborers together with God. We must have spiritual workers; not only workers who labor in the pulpit for the churches, but those who will do personal work among the people. Too much time is devoted to the churches in preaching. This is not attended with the best results. The work of the Lord's ambassadors is to organize a company of workers to hunt for the souls who need help; but hours are spent in preaching that had better be devoted to personal, house-to-house labor. In the spirit of Christ, with a heart all aglow with His love, seek to win those in the family. AUCR Feb 25, 1907

When a church is visited by wise and experienced workmen, let these men find out if there is not something for them to do for that church that will be a blessing to families. Converse with them in regard to their spiritual advancement. Show them that they are under obligation to work as those who have received the grace of God. The missionary spirit must be kept awake; and in order for this spirit to live, the members of the church must be laborers together with God. It is time that unselfish, consecrated workmen should enter into families who have already accepted the truth, and yet have not worked for its advancement. It is time that our preaching brethren should minister not only in the congregation, but in families. Come close to your brethren; seek for them, help them; come close to the hearts as one touched with the feelings of their infirmities. Thus we may achieve victories that our small faith has not grasped. The members of these families should be given some labor to perform for the good of souls. Mutual love and confidence will give them moral force to be laborers together with God. AUCR Feb 25, 1907

Those who labor for God have but just begun the work when they have given a discourse in the desk. After this comes the real labor, the visiting from house to house, conversing with members of families, praying with them, and coming close in sympathy to those whom we wish to benefit. It will not detract from the dignity of a minister of Christ to be awake to see and realize the temporal burdens and cares of the families he visits, and to be useful, seeking to relieve them where he can by engaging in physical labor. In this way he can have a power of influence to disarm opposition and break down prejudice, that he would fail to have if he were in every other respect fully efficient as a minister of Christ. 3T 558

“He preaches to the people, but makes no after effort to follow up the sermons given. He said he could not visit families, that he just despised that kind of labor.” You can imagine the condition of a flock unvisited by the shepherd. I have repeatedly had this matter presented before me, that the men who are ordained to preach the word should be educated to make full proof of their ministry in their personal labors in families, talking with the members of the family, understanding their spiritual condition, encouraging, reproving with all long-suffering and doctrine, praying with them, binding up his interest with their hearts and souls. This is the work of a faithful shepherd. PH002 17

Let all share the expense. Let the church see that those who ought to receive its benefits are attending the school. Poor families should be assisted. CG 313

Many cherish wrong-doing by speaking fretfully and impatiently. This course is not excused by the words, “Oh, it is only my way!” None should ever speak words that wound and bruise. We should bear one another’s burdens, thus fulfilling the law of God. Oh, how many we might save by showing them sympathy and tenderness, by helping them to bear their burdens! How many are lost because others, instead of manifesting toward them a spirit of love, indulge in a spirit of criticism, magnifying their mistakes! We are not to sanction the wrong course of a brother, but we are to try to save him from sin, instead of condemning him for being in sin. We all have infirmities, and we should be willing to make allowance for the infirmities of others. Ms 21, 1092

Question 2: How do we as people in the last days apply what this messenger says to broken families today?

Answer: I believe, the best way to apply it is to create an atmosphere in our churches and our homes of being a blessing to others. Sometimes, we as believers focus more on the standards of the church, and as a result, we focus on maintaining an attitude of holiness while neglecting some of the core principles of Christianity—love, gentleness, acceptance, friendliness, patience, and encouragement. Instead of believing these characteristics will just manifest themselves because it's church, we must be intentional about these things and facilitate an atmosphere where these characteristics can not just be seen, but also thrive.

One of the main purposes of the church is for the gathering of believers. In this gathering we learn, we share experiences, but we also can network. Thus, if the church is lacking, don't wait on the Pastor or Elders to begin a ministry or program, it is up to you to find like-minded people in the church or in other churches and network together to find methods to facilitate broken families. It may also be beneficial to incorporate a Christian counselor in your network as well.

Question 3: How does a person whose family is broken find the answers not only in the spirit of prophecy but in God’s word?

The way to find answers is first through fasting and prayer. We fast to keep our minds open to hear God's voice. However, please know that voice may not always come through His written Word. Sometimes that voice may come through a sermon, a Bible text, a video, a conversation, and even an audible voice; however, we have to be attentive to know that it is God who is speaking to us. You can also ask others as there is always someone out there who has gone through what you are going through.

In conclusion, we can see that there is a place for broken families in the Church. The Church is to minister to them and pray for them.  If you are reading this and you find yourself part of a broken family, just remember that God loves you and although you may feel like you've been abandoned, He will never leave you nor forsake you (Heb 13:5). My prayer is that God will mend our broken families back together. God bless!